Just a Redirection

Though I’ve become acquainted with the process of submission over the last six years, this does not mean I have found success with every attempt. If anything, the more times I submit my work, the more chances I have to be rejected. It’s the truth, which many writers avoid discussing because it’s not the outcome we wish to dwell on.

Alas, decisions are often beyond our control. I hoped to be be announced the winner of the Backlash Best Book Award. Despite making it to the shortlist, my work has not been chosen.

Rejection is just redirection.

While this news might be a little more sad than usual, it is by no means discouraging. I refuse to give up on this full-length poetry manuscript, which began in 2017 with me finding my voice as a poet again. The journey of this collection will not be over until THE HALF-LIFE OF LYING finds its forever home.

Looking at this letter, I am so proud of the obstacles my work overcame, climbing to a shortlist of three other manuscripts out of two hundred submissions. And I must admit, I do not know the word quit. I do understand the importance of hard work and diligence and perseverance.

In the past, I always liked the saying close, but no cigar. It felt a little out of time, which is how I often felt growing up. But despite the old soul connection of those words, I no longer find them to be applicable. And why is that? Well, dear reader, throughout the last year, I have learned the importance of celebrating even the smallest victories.

This world is not always kind and life is not always easy. Some days, survival may be all we can manage. But on those other days when we can enjoy the rain or recall how hard we’ve worked to get to a certain point, when we can love ourselves despite imperfections, and when we can take a step back and marvel at just how far we’ve come, those are the days when close is better than best because it means we haven’t given up.

So if you, dear reader, find yourself faced with rejection, I hope you will remember it is just a redirection. There will be a new journey, a different press, another chance to make your dreams a reality.

Believe in yourself. Take a deep breath. Drink some water because you’re probably dehydrated. And keep trying.

Reason Enough

April always feels like new beginnings. Perhaps this is proximity to springtime, the sun returning after too many months of grey skies. Or maybe, focusing on filling an empty page every day is reason enough to feel the magic of possibility.

You see, dear reader, April is National Poetry Month, which means I will once again attempt to pen a poem each day. If successful, I will have written thirty new poems. While I have challenged myself for the last three years, 2020 was the first in which I found true success.

Throughout the past month or so, I found myself looking back. And I stumbled upon the exploration of last year’s challenge in What We Called the April Poems. But seeing as we’re one day away from April, I’m excited to extend an invitation to poets and writers alike to join me in this pursuit!

What does this challenge entail?

Combine three rules with a dash of inspiration and you get the April Poems. I will be posting daily on this blog with three words and some inspiring aesthetics. Here’s hoping that you, dear readers and writers, will share your triumphs and trials faced during this next month.

Rule #1: Three words

The most important rule is the implementation of three words. There is no word count, no strict structure to the pieces written, only these words as a guide. Instead of seeing them as a limitation, they’ve always forced me to flex my creative muscles a bit more than usual. Assigned by the best friend, I have no way of knowing ahead of time where the words will take me.

Rule #2: Stream-of-Consciousness

As I have always been habitual in my need to overthink, this commitment to stream-of-consciousness writing ensures I don’t have the capacity to get stuck in my mind. Explained a little more concisely, the style of SOC captures a continuous flow of uninterrupted thoughts. And staying true to the fleeting feel of words without editing continues to hone my voice and strengthen the craft of my poetry.

Rule #3: Don’t look back

While this may seem like it goes hand-in-hand with the second rule, I can assure you, this extends beyond the moment of writing. Throughout the month, I don’t look back to find a theme or central character or to edit any previous days' poems. However, like many writers, my obsessions still exist. There is a bit of a treasure hunt that occurs once the month concludes and I read the poems in full, laying the groundwork for a possible chapbook or collection. As humans, we’re constantly making connections.

Though the last year has been anything but normal, I do find a sense of comfort in tradition, in dreaming big, in creative pursuits. Sure, I have no idea where these April Poems will take me. And yes, I know many writers can’t face any other unknowns. Even if you only write one poem or journal entry, a short story or opening to your next novel, there is power to be found in community. This lesson is one I’m grateful to have learned from my writing group and the phenomenal authors we had the honor of publishing in Pages Penned in Pandemic: A Collective.

No matter the chaos or darkness of the world, I have hope that together we will craft some new words into existence. Sharing stories is something I will never take for granted. Here’s to the next new beginning.

All That Remains

Amidst drafting my current work-in-progress, I have found myself reevaluating my writing process. With DREAM CATCHERS still out in the query trenches, I have found this current project to be just as magical as it's always been. After nine years working on the Falling series, it feels like I finally know what BOOK ONE needs to be. And through this learning process, I've reminded myself how I've grown as a writer and how writing this book can be different than the last four years spent on the Dreamer Duology. 

What I've discovered since being back in this fantastical world, is that writers can change many things: the process of plotting and writing, revision and editing. But as my best friend reminds, "you can't change your emotional truth." While she may have said this in reference to another moment and memory in time, I've continued to repeat the words through my mind like a mantra. Much can change. But when hurts and heartbreaks and heeded warnings are all that remains, it is best to remember them.

It is with this knowledge that I proceed into the drafting of the WIP, taking my burdens with me. It is the best gift and the greatest curse of writing that we may spill ourselves into fiction. Such remains a reality in this WIP. There is darkness and there are shadows within these new pages. But there is also goodness and light and hope; everything I know to temper the harsh reality of feeling too deeply about the world and its inhabitants.

As I continue to craft the beginning of this book, I won't try to change my emotional truths because to do so would deny the validity of feeling. But I will keep writing. I'll keep building a world of my own creation. I will plot and plan because that is the kind of writer I am. Unlike the early experience of writing DREAM CATCHERS,  I won't shy away or detach from writing the difficult scenes within this book, because those are the ones which ring and resonant with truth.

If anything, I have learned what works for me in the here and now instead of focusing on what I can't change about my lyrical style and voice. These are the things which I've never had to force, because they've always been there. I'm not sure it's worth dwelling on those things when there is so much power to be had in creating myself anew. So this time, I will write the chapters in a linear way. I will share them with my critique partner as I go. I will check in with the story from time to time to make sure character motivations are clear, that voices remain distinct, that what I am writing feels true to the story I'm trying to tell. But such are the fickle foes of writing.

Much as I would like to imagine writing to be magic, it is work. Alas, it is work that I so love. Maybe that emotional truth is the greatest of all because it reminds I will make this story into something real. And even as the world tries to break my spirit, as people depart and new ones emerge along this writing journey, I will cling to the dream of the Falling series and all it has done to make me into the writer I am today. 

Should you find yourself in the middle of burning bridges broken beyond repair, or breaking bad habits, writing or otherwise,  I hope you'll remember that even if you can't change your emotional truth, you can acknowledge the fear, the hurt, the joy, etc. and use it to grow. Become better. Remain true.